just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
third nipple confirmed
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
