ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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