is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
