Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize