And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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