the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
