someone get that fucking seahorse.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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