Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
