can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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