Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
we're making bets on your personal life
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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