there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
