She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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