I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
