K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
