life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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