at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
