I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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