Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
