I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
