I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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