Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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