The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
