Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
