We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
