Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
