I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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