Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
