I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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