Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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