i just google imaged poop.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
