Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
