Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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