So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
handjob tips. give me some.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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