That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
