Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
