I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
