Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
