i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
