if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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