OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
