is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
