she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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