What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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