the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
