i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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