Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We need to get me chipped asap
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
