i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
