And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
