ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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