Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
