Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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