I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Everclear isn't food dammit
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
