Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
