What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
