So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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