Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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