Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
