Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
