why didn't you poke me back
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
