you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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