lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
