the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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