Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
