is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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