i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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