He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
