erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
