There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
