woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
