She said her name was "party"
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
