I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
