you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
